Day 12: Tastes Like Chicken

[13:40] <Seren-y-Gogledd> So, I caught some romance-related ME3 spoilers today

[13:40] <DesertBell> SHHHHH

[13:40]    *  Seren-y-Gogledd  will not say anything though

[13:40] <DesertBell> The internet is getting to be like a landmine. A spoilery landmine

[13:40] <DesertBell> Will they make me sad? DON’T TELL ME.

[13:40] <DesertBell> But will they?

[13:40] <Southpaw> LALALALALA can’t hear youuuuuuu

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[13:41] <DesertBell> Don’t care about new LIs.

[13:41] <DesertBell> I only have a heart for one biotic.

[13:43] <Seren-y-Gogledd> One biotic and one assassin, you mean

[13:43] <DesertBell> Yeah well if I had to choose, it would not be a difficult choice

[13:44] <Southpaw> Sorry, Thane, you’re just a way to pass the time once we get Kaidan back

[13:44] <DesertBell> Because DAT NECKFRILL.

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 Shaman Urdnot says “Excellent” in such a way that he sounds like Jafar from Aladdin:

[13:45] <Southpaw> Eeeeexcellent made me lol

[13:45] <DesertBell> EEGGGGCEL

[13:45] <DesertBell> damn.

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Still getting grief for playing on casual:

[13:46] <DesertBell> Grunt and?

[13:47] <Southpaw> Dice says Mordin

[13:47] <Southpaw> Interesting, dice. Interesting

[13:47] <DesertBell> Okay. DON’T MAKE ME REGRET THIS, DICE.

[13:48] <Southpaw> Regret? On casual?

[13:48] <DesertBell> Shuttup

[13:48] <Southpaw> You could go in solo and live to tell the tale

[13:48] <DesertBell> SHUTTUP

[13:48] <Southpaw> Is the truth

[13:49] <DesertBell> I DON’T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS. I CAN ALWAYS GO VISIT KAIDAN IN ME3 DEMO.

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[13:55] <DesertBell> Mordin’s all, “NOT DIFFICULT”

[13:55] <DesertBell> And I’m like, “You too, Mordin? SHUT IT.”

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[14:00] <DesertBell> :I

[14:01] <DesertBell> I’m not saying I just died, but I’m not saying I didn’t either

[14:01] <Southpaw> ..

[14:01] <Southpaw> ……

[14:01] <Southpaw> !?!

[14:01] <Southpaw> dude

[14:01] <Southpaw> duuuuude.

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[14:08] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Didn’t die, but I used a fuckton of medigel

[14:08] <DesertBell> I believe “Fuckton” is actually the appropriate unit of measure when it comes to medigel.

[14:09] <Southpaw> oh dear

[14:09] <DesertBell> In ME3 I’ma have ALL the medigel.

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[13:50] <DesertBell> So… I don’t understand why the alliance didn’t just manufacture a shitton of Cains. That sucker takes out the human reaper in 2 shots.

[13:50] <Southpaw> Haahahha

[13:50] <Southpaw> Cains and thresher maws, what else do you need.

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[14:19] <DesertBell> AHAHA Just punched the Pyjack

[14:19] <DesertBell> That’s not a euphamism

[14:19] <DesertBell> although if it was it’d be a darn good one.

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[14:28] <DesertBell> Grunt just said “Nothing can hurt me!”

[14:28] <DesertBell> So his “rocket to the face” strategy suddenly makes a lot more sense.

[14:29] <DesertBell> He’s not suicidal he’s just not smart.

[14:30] <Seren-y-Gogledd> He’s a krogan. They have at least two of everything.

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[14:29] <Southpaw> Apparently I’m doing the not shooting thing right now

[14:30] <Southpaw> *casually punches a varren*

[14:31] <Southpaw> But apparently punchng krogan is still a bad idea

[14:31] <Southpaw> Also typing while fighting

[14:32] <Southpaw> HAHAHA died

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[14:31] <DesertBell> LOLOL

[14:31] <DesertBell> I almost died right now because I was laughing so hard

[14:31] <DesertBell> A bloodpack pyro was shooting flames at me and Shepard says…

[14:31] <DesertBell> “Taking heavy fire”

[14:31] <DesertBell> LOLOL

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 After exploding some long-winded krogans:

[14:44] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Mmm, roasted krogan.

[14:45] <DesertBell> Tastes like chicken

[14:45] <Southpaw> om nom

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 Pawsy’s psychopathic dice picked the renegade path when talking to the sick krogan scout- the result caused this reaction:

[15:03] <Southpaw> :O

[15:03] <Southpaw> OMG

[15:03] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Shit.

[15:03] <DesertBell> :O

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Getting sent to the Collector ship:

[15:46] <Southpaw> TIM wants to speak to us

[15:47] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Heh, the Shaman will piss on our graves.

[15:48] <Southpaw> He’s such a sweetie

[15:49] <Seren-y-Gogledd> I hope you mean Shaman

[15:49] <Seren-y-Gogledd> TIM is not a sweetie.

[15:49] <Southpaw> Yes, Shaman, TIM is a dickweasel

[15:49] <DesertBell> No he HAS dickweasels.

[15:49] <DesertBell>    WE’VE TALKED ABOUT THIS

[15:49] <Southpaw> Same difference

[15:50] <Seren-y-Gogledd> He’s had them so long he became one

[15:50] <DesertBell> Dickweasels are a serious problem that effect millions.

[15:50] <DesertBell> Well, not actually MILLIONS

[15:50] <DesertBell> More like, you know, one guy.

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[15:51] <DesertBell> I have Admiral Akbar SCREAMING in my head right now

[15:51] <DesertBell> IT’S A TRAP!

[15:51] <DesertBell> –how’d you hear about this?

Tim tells us some thin tale about a Turian distress signal.

[15:51] <DesertBell> LIAAAAR

[15:51] <DesertBell> LIAR LIAR WEASELPANTS ON FIRE

[15:52] <Southpaw> lol

[15:52] <Southpaw> I’m getting them giggles

[15:52] <DesertBell> IT’S A TRAP.

[15:52] <DesertBell> Traaaaap

[15:53] <DesertBell> Trappy trappy trap trap trap.

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The moment Desertbell stopped caring if it was a trap:

[15:53] <DesertBell> Where is Wrex when you need him? He always knew when something was a – OMG I can have a sniper rifle after this mission

[15:54]    *  DesertBell  does a happy sniper-rifle-and-cain dance

[15:54] <Southpaw> Dude, you shouldn’t be allowed to use Cain

[15:54] <Southpaw> You’re fast enough as is

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EDI tells us that it was a trap:

[16:13] <DesertBell> I FUCKING TOLD YOU IT WAS A TRAP EDI

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[16:20] <DesertBell> These conversation hearts taste like cheap perfume and I still can’t stop eating them

[16:20] <DesertBell> WHY.

[16:20] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Because candy?

[16:20] <Southpaw> 😀

[16:20] <DesertBell> Oh, yeah, there’s that.

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[16:29] <Southpaw> Hello, praetorian

[16:30] <DesertBell> OH FUCK PRAETORIAN

[16:30] <Southpaw> Hello, death

[16:30] <Southpaw> No dickpunching the praetorian

[16:31] <Southpaw> I didn’t really but still, got too close to it

[16:31] <Seren-y-Gogledd> Fuck, dead

[16:31] <DesertBell> Holy shit I just derped right into it

[16:31] <DesertBell> I was like “Dur de dur dur OH SHIT”

[16:32] <DesertBell> I was close enough to kiss it for crying out loud.

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[16:54] <Southpaw> I want to punch TIM in his lying whore mouth.

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Jacob thinks we should go after the Reaper IFF RIGHT NOW- but of course it’s our call.

[17:00] <DesertBell> Yes, Jacob, it IS My call. Stop fucking arguing with me.

[17:01] <Southpaw> Or you’ll go into the vents

[17:01] <DesertBell> It’s practically a suicide mission! He volunteers!

[17:02] <Southpaw> Good riddance.

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[17:03] <DesertBell> Poor Han Olar.

[17:03] <DesertBell> I can’t think of him without thinking “They Came From OVer There” and then cracking up

[17:04] <Seren-y-Gogledd> When he’s out of therapy, he’ll write B-movies

[17:04] <Seren-y-Gogledd> That’ll be his first one.

[17:05] <DesertBell> The sequel: “They Say A Lot of Things”

[17:05] <Southpaw> Shadow of the Codpurse

[17:05] <DesertBell> I’ll stand in that shadow ALL DAY LONG

[17:06] <Southpaw> I bet.

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Go to Day 13: Weasels, Medigel, and Armpit Contests